:o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o):o) :o) :o) :o):o) :o) HUMOR FROM THE VALLEY - October 14, 2001 "A cheerful disposition is good for your health . . ." Proverbs 17:22 (Message Translation) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o):o) :o) :o) :o):o) :o) Subject: Kids' Stuff - Volume 9 "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children." Matthew 11:25-26 "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me." Matthew 18:3-5 "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14 So often, God has used some triumph or mistake we made as parents to give us a deeper revelation of our relationship with Him. In a moment of parental pride, He gave us a vision of some small act of service we had done and the pride He'd felt at our first, feeble attempts to follow Him. And in some moment of parental frustration, when we felt like screaming, He gave us an equally sharp picture of something we had done that made Him feel much the same frustration toward us. Not only did He use each event to show us more about His role as our heavenly Father, but He used them to show us more about our role as His children. As a way of celebrating that role and remembering our countless blessings, we occasionally do an edition of "Humor from the Valley" that focuses entirely on children. We call these editions "Kid's Stuff." Mainly they're filled with humorous stories, but occasionally we also include more serious stories sent in by our contributors in celebration of children. We hope you will enjoy reading this edition as much as we enjoyed putting it together. We pray the articles will remind you of the way you used to be and the heavenly Father who longs for you to be that way again. We remain His less than perfect children, sheltered under His wing and overwhelmed by His love, Steve & Cathy Hall WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD! (Received Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh) We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new house in town. Early the next morning, a Saturday, our 3 ½ year-old ran into our bedroom to wake us up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us. About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "everybody has doorbells - and they all work." WHY DO YOU DRESS FUNNY? (Received from Net 153 Sunday Funnies) A priest was walking along the corridor of the parochial school near the preschool wing when a group of little ones was trotting by on the way to the cafeteria. One youngster of 3 or 4 stopped and looked at him in his clerical clothes and asked, "Why do you dress funny?" The priest responded, "I'm a priest and this was the uniform priests wear." Then the boy pointed to the priest's plastic collar tab and asked, "Do you have an owie?" The priest was perplexed then realized that to the kid the collar tab looked like a bandage. So the priest took it out and handed it to the boy to show him. On the back of the tab were raised letters giving the name of the manufacturer. The little guy felt the letters, and the priest asked, "Do you know what those words say?" "Yes I do," said the lad, well too young to read. Peering intently at the letters he said, "Kills ticks and fleas up to six months!" CHURCH STORIES (Received from Horace Hooper) Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle. "I see . . . And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's Pontius -- the Pilot!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," Little Johnny replies, "I don't have to, my mom is a good cook!" JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE (Received from GCFL) A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from the drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute." SPECIAL DELIVERY (Received from Heart Prints - Author Unknown) Sally walked out of the Children's Hospital for the last time after spending most of the last 6 months there. She sat the bag with Jimmy's things in it on the seat beside of her in the car. The drive home was hard and it was even harder to go into an empty house. She took the bag to Jimmy's room and started placing the model cars and things back exactly where he always kept them. She laid down across his bed and cried herself to sleep holding his pillow. Sally woke up about midnight and laying beside of her on the bed, was a letter folded up. She opened the letter, it said: "Dear Mom, I know your going to miss me, but don't think that I will ever forget you or stop loving you because I'm not around. I'll think of you every day Mom and I'll love you even more each day. Someday we will see each other again. If you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, he can have my room and my old stuff to play with. If you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things as us boys do, so you will have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like. Don't be sad when you think about me, this is really a great place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything here. The angels are so friendly, I love to watch them fly. Jesus doesn't look like any of the pictures I saw of Him, but I knew it was Him as soon as I saw Him. Jesus took me to see GOD! And guess what Mom? I got to sit on GOD'S knee and talk to Him like I was somebody important. I told GOD that I wanted to write you a letter and tell you Good-bye and everything, but I knew that wasn't allowed. God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter with. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel that is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him about "Where was He when I needed him?" God said, "The same place He was when Jesus was on the cross and needed Him. He was right there, as He always is with all His children." Oh, by the way Mom, nobody else can see what is written on this paper but you. To everyone else, it looks like a blank piece of paper. I have to give God His pen back now, he has some more names to write in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for Supper. I'm sure the food will be great. I almost forgot to let you know - Now I don't hurt anymore, the cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me suffer the pain either, so He sent The Angel of Mercy to get me. The Angel said I was Special Delivery! Signed with love, God & Jesus & Me" DON'T WAKE HIM UP (Received from Horace S. Hooper - Author Unknown) A man was giving his testimony at one of those old Salvation Army open air street meetings. As he was testifying, a heckler yelled out, "Why don't you shut up and sit down? You're just dreaming." Immediately that heckler felt a tug on his coat. He looked down to see a little girl, who said. "Sir, may I speak to you? That man who is talking up there is my daddy. Daddy used to be a drunkard. He used to spend all of the money he made on whiskey. My mother was very sad and would cry most of the time. Sometimes when my daddy came home, he would hit my mother. I didn't have shoes or a nice dress to wear to school. But look at my shoes. And see this pretty dress? My daddy bought these for me. And see my mother over there? She's the one with the bright smile on her face. She's happy now. She sings even when she's doing the ironing." Then the little girl said . . . "Mister, if my daddy is dreaming, please don't wake him up." ________________________________________________ Copyright © 1998 - 2001 by Stephen J. Hall - Weekly letters of encouragement to Christians written by Stephen J. Hall unless otherwise indicated. Notes from the Valley and Humor from the Valley are meant to brighten your day and encourage you along the way. Most of "Notes" and "Humor" are a collection of items provided to me by subscribers and friends. Credit is given to both the contributor and to the true author, where known. If you are blessed by them, please feel free to make copies and pass them along to others. If you have something you'd like to contribute to a future edition, or any questions or comments, please contact us at: sossteve@... ________________________________________________ "Surely God does not reject a blameless man or strengthen the hands of evildoers. He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." Job 8:20-21 (NIV)