:o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o):o) :o) :o) :o):o) :o) Humor from the Valley - May 19, 2000 "A cheerful disposition is good for your health . . ." Proverbs 17:22 (Message Translation) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o) :o):o) :o) :o) :o):o) :o) Topic: Kids' Stuff - Volume 3 "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children." "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me." "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 11:25-26/18:3-5/19:14 Well, it's time for another "Humor" edition and the response to last month's volume of "Kids Stuff" was so positive that I thought we'd do another one. Forgive me if I repeat the lead in material from the last edition, but I truly feel we need to be reminded about our role as children on a regular basis (or we start getting "uppity" as my Grandma used to say). God has used our children in so many ways to pour out His blessings upon us. So often He would use some triumph or mistake we made as parents to give us a deeper revelation of our relationship with Him. In a moment of parental pride, He would give a vision of some small act of service we had done and the pride He'd felt at our first, often feeble attempts to follow Him. And in some moment of parental frustration, when we felt like screaming at the moon, He gave us an equally sharp picture of something we had done that made Him feel much the same frustration toward us. Not only did He use each event to show us more about His role as our heavenly Father, but He used them to show us more about our role as His sometimes "not so heavenly" children. We remain His less than perfect children - sheltered under His wing and overwhelmed by His love. Steve & Cathy Hall LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE (Received from net153 Sunday Funnies - Author Unknown) Stan Buck tells the story about a little girl who, on the way home from church, turned to her mother and said, "Mommy, the preacher's sermon this morning confused me." The mother said, "Oh! Why is that?" The girl replied, "Well, he said that God is bigger than we are. Is that true?" "Yes, that's true," the mother replied. "He also said that God lives within us. Is that true, too?" Again the mother replied, "Yes." "Well," said the girl. "If God is bigger than us and He lives in us, wouldn't He show through?" I like that little girl's way of putting it. If God lives in us, then there's no way of keeping Him from "showing through." That's the essence of Christian living - living in such a way that people around will see God in our lives. "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:16). THE DINNER PRAYER (Contributed by Nellie Hicks) Michael Spitters, senior minister of First Christian Church(Disciples of Christ) in Lansing, Mich. tells about when he was a boy and all six of his siblings and his parents were seated around the dinner table. Eyes closed. Hands held. With the exception of his father, they were anxiously awaiting the completion of the prayer. Mother's mashed potatoes and gravy had a way of distracting them from whatever father happened to mention in his prayers. Immediately upon hearing the long-awaited "amen," Jimmy, 3, blirted out, "Dad...Dad! Brenda had her eyes open during your prayer." The four year old's face dropped and her shoulders caved in as she awaited her reprimand. But, instead, father asked, "Jimmy, how is it that you know that your sister had her eyes open during the prayer?" Shocked by the frightening question, Jimmy thought for a second ortwo, then blurted out, "I heard them open!" HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD (Received from WithGodsHelp - Author Edna Massimilla) A Meeting was held quite far from earth "It's time again for another birth," Said the Angels to the Lord above, "This special child will need much love." His progress may seem slow Accomplishments he may not show And he'll require extra care From the folks he meets way down there. He may not run or laugh or play His thoughts may seem quite far away In many ways he won't adapt And he'll be known as handicapped. So let's be careful where he's sent We want his life to be content Please, Lord, find the parents who Will do a special job for you. They will not realize right away The leading role they're asked to play. But with this child sent from above Come stronger faith and richer love. And soon they'll know the privilege given In caring for this gift from heaven Their precious charge, so meek and mild, Is heaven's very special child. THE WISDOM OF CHILDREN (Contributed by Jackie Nyapera and Shelby Rice Nims) . "Wear a hat when feeding seagulls." - Rocky, age 9 "Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning." - Stephanie, age 8 "Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents are doing taxes." - Carrol, age 9 "Never spit when on a roller coaster." - Scott, age 11 "Never do pranks at a police station." - Sam, age 10 "Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand." - Molly, age 11 "Listen to your brain. It has lots of information." - Chelsey, age 7 "Never dare your little brother to paint the family car." - Phillip, age 13 "Remember the two places you are always welcome-church and Grandma's house." - Joanne, age 11 Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10 When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. - Michael, 14 Never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Michael, 14 When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. -Taylia, 11 Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac. - Andrew, 9 When you get a bad grade, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. - Alyesha, 13 Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, 8 SCHOOL DAZE (Received from Trish of the GuardianAngel List) Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in my life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott. Jamie was trying out for a part in a school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen. On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement. "Guess what Mom," he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me. "I've been chosen to clap and cheer." A RIB TICKLER (Received from Net153) At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Tommy, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Tommy, what's the matter?" Little Tommy responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife." A CHILD'S WISDOM IN PRAYER (Received from Carolyn of Brothers-in-Christ) A little boy's prayer. "Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, and please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we're gonna be in a big mess." ARE YOU REALLY YOU? (Received from PGVargas via GCFL - Author Unknown) My Grandma says I've Daddy's nose. Before I came he'd two I s'pose? She always adds, "And what is more, You've Mother's eyes" - Did she have four? They say I've got my mouth and chin From Grandma's husband: Benjamin! He died before I came, you see - And must have willed them both to me! I understand about my hair, For Daddy's head Is kind of bare. But what I'd like to really know - What puzzles me and tries me so . . . Is - am I just some odds and ends, Parts of my relatives and friends? Or do you think that it can be There's something left that's really ME? THE SEAGULL (Received from Linda Layton) A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?" GIVING LIFE (Received from Seedsowers4God) Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at Stanford Hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liza who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her five-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save Liza." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice. "Will I start to die right away?" Being young, the boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give her all his blood. GOOD FOR THE SOUL (Received from Nancy Livingstone - Author Unknown) Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!" Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice-cream! Why, I never!" Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?" As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentle man approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer." "Really?" my son asked " Cross my heart." Then in theatrical whisper he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes." Naturally, I bought my kid's ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and without a word walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes and my soul is good already." CHILDREN (Contributed by Yogi - Author Judith Dekker) To make a child, God spilled out sunshine, It pooled beneath His Hand to form a smile; Their eyes He formed from dewdrops in the morning, So sadness could just linger there awhile. God knit the child's frame together with a spring breeze ... So in their every movement there would be grace. And warmed their heart with kindling made of kindness, So all would see the caring in their face. And then God wrapped them gently in a rainbow, Spun for their spirit -- beautiful to see! And said: "Whoever looks upon a small child, Shall know, deep in his heart, that he's seen Me." _______________________________________________________________ Copyright © 2000 by Stephen J. Hall - Weekly letters of encouragement to Christians written by Stephen J. Hall unless otherwise indicated. Notes from the Valley and Humor from the Valley are never intended to offend anyone. They're meant only to brighten your day and encourage you along the way. Most of "Notes" and "Humor" are a collection of items provided to me by subscribers and friends. Credit is given to both the contributor and to the true author, where known. If you are blessed by them, please feel free to make copies and pass them along to others. If you have something you'd like to contribute to a future edition or would like to ask us a question or make a comment, please contact us at: sossteve@... _____________________________________________________________ "Surely God does not reject a blameless man or strengthen the hands of evildoers. He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy." Job 8:20-21 (NIV)