Dear friends,

As most of you know, I was adopted when very young and my natural brother
and I were split up.  We were recently reunited over the phone . . . he flew
to Ohio last Monday evening for a week-long visit after being separated for
48+ years.

This has been a very emotional week . . . we've both cried, laughed, but
mostly just sat there contemplating the goodness of God and His mysterious
ways as He put us together after so many years.  It's really hard to put
everything into words right now, but I am more convinced than ever that He
cares for us in such specific and intimate ways . . . in ways we can never
hope to comprehend!

One of the greatest things I saw this past week was a gradual but visible
change in my brother.  He got off the plane with an "attitude" . . . he
desperately needed approval and presented himself with a loud, rather rough
demeanor.  Day by day the softening of his voice, and ultimately his heart,
was seen until the moment this afternoon when we embraced as we said our
farewells.  It was a hard moment for both of us as for the first time ever
we truly felt like brother and sister.

Being awkward around men, particularly strange men, it was difficult for me
to get used to having a grown man around the house.  I often found it
difficult to look into his eyes . . . fear probably was the root cause,
however, I'm not certain where the fear was coming from or exactly what I
was fearful of.  The moments that I did allow our eyes to meet, I felt
somewhat strange, but I could almost see into his heart that was melting as
the days passed.

We spent Tuesday sitting around the house, sharing pictures, doing small
talk.  Silent times made me feel like I needed to say something to keep the
conversation going; he was, on the other hand, very content just to sit and
contemplate the depth of what was taking place.  Tom was raised an only
child and with both his parents now deceased, he basically had no family.
He was divorced many years ago and his two children are not communicating
with him at this point.  So, suddently, he was plunged into a family with a
sister, a brother-in-law, four nieces (and spouses), two nephews (and
spouses), seven great-nephews, and two great-nieces.  You can easily see how
he may have felt overwhelmed!

Even today, as we stood at the airport to say our good-byes, the enormity of
what had transpired in his life over the past few weeks seemed to overwhelm
him.  He later called me when he returned home and it was obvious he had
been crying.  His words will ring in my heart throughout my life . . . "I
never knew true love till I met you . . ."  The love was different . . . it
was God's love flowing through our entire family to a man who never was
accepted, who never experienced unmerited love.  God had applied a healing
balm to his heart that will continue to bring down the walls and heal the
wounds of the past 48 years.

On Wednesday we took a trip to Washington Court House, Ohio, where we had
been told our birth-father had lived prior to his death in 1969.  We went
through death records, newspaper achives, cemetery listings, etc., but came
up empty-handed.  It wasn't a lost day, however, because we spent quality
time together and began to really talk.  I shared many memories of meeting
our mother in 1987 prior to her death.  He learned that he had many of her
qualities . . . both good and bad.  We suddenly discovered our hands looked
alike, a very simple revelation, but further confirmation of our kinship!

The evenings were wonderful when my husband came home from work . . . he
truly made Tom feel welcome and a part of the family.  Small talk came easy,
they shared, and laughed, and joked around about me (my husband's favorite
passtime)!  Andrew made the way very smooth as well . . . he doesn't know a
stranger!  Tom was impressed with the acceptance he found within these four
walls . . . a shout of praise is due the Father for such a testimony of His
love in our home!

Thursday found us on our way to northern Ohio where we were to trace our
roots for each other.  I shared my growing up . . . we stopped in front of
the house I was raised in.  Suddenly a rush of memories flooded my mind and
emotions . . . I burst into tears with no explanation to be found.  I felt
the years pass before me like a fast-forward motion picture.  I felt the
awareness of my childhood void of my brother's presence.  I saw the tree my
parents planted me when they adopted me still standing with its branches
stretched up into the heavens as if to offer a song of praise to its Maker!
Tom took a picture as we nearly stopped traffic to experience the emotions
of the child's life I was sharing so many years later.  We then drove to
look at the schools and various points of interest that had meaning in my
childhood.

Since we were so close to where my parents are in the nursing home, I asked
Tom if he would mind waiting while I stopped in to see them.  An already
emotional day had suddently turned into an outburst for which I had no
control.  My mother was not doing well, very weak and the dimentia was
obviously increasing.  I spent about 20 minutes with her and soon left to
visit my dad.  He was sleeping as I entered his room, but it seemed as if he
sensed my presence as he woke up.  I kneeled down to hug and kiss him and he
just clung to me.  Those deepset eyes welled up with tears as he kissed me
repeatedly hanging on to me as if to never let go.  All I could do was cry.
My parents . . . so vibrant in their earlier years have succombed to the
frailty of mankind in their latter years.  Both having had birthdays the end
of December, they showed signs of every year they had lived.

I suppose it was looking at the pictures of them and me in our youth that
made me suddenly realize that their lives would soon be over.  The scripture
in Psalms 103:14-16 speaks of this so well . . . "For he knoweth our frame;
he remembereth that we are dust. As for man, his days are as grass: as a
flower of the field, so he flourisheth.  For the wind passeth over it, and
it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more."  Our time on this
earth is so short . . . I'm so thankful for the opportunities the Father has
placed before Tom and me to share each other's lives before we are too old!

We traveled to Vermillion and went immediately to the cemetery where Tom's
parents are burried.  He had never seen their graves and was unable to
locate them due to the snow.  After plodding through the drifted snow, Tom
decided to go to his cousin's house to see if they could help him find his
parent's graves.  Unfortunately, his cousin wasn't home but her husband was.
Boy, did we have a laugh!  Tom went to the door and Butch didn't even
recognize him at first.  After the initial introduction, Tom mentioned that
he had someone he wanted Butch to meet, so he motioned for me to come in.
Not feeling comfortable meeting strangers, I reluctantly got out of the car
and went into the house.  Tom said, "I want you to meet someone!  This is my
sister!"  Well, Butch just looked at Tom and snickered, thinking all the
while that I was Tom's wife or girlfriend.  Then Tom said it again . . .
"No, really . . . this is my sister!"  Butch just looked and laughed again.
Then, I looked at Butch and said, "Yes, I'm his sister!"  The look on
Butch's face was one that you would want to frame!  He couldn't believe it .
. . it was true.  Tom had found his sister, one they had heard about but
never really knew if she existed.  Speechless . . . he didn't know what to
say!  So, most of the conversation was about the weather!  I am still
chuckling at all of this!

After a very short visit, Butch was gracious and said he would take Tom to
the cemetery and show him the gravestones.  The ride wasn't too far and we
soon found ourselves back where he had been just a short while earlier.
Since Tom wasn't at his parent's funerals, it was a time he needed for
himself, so I waited in the car while Butch and Tom went to the gravesite.
They stood there forever talking . . . at times I could sense that Tom was
having a difficult time as he never had the opportunity to say his
"goodbye's" to his parents.  It was a good time for him . . . a time of
healing and putting the past behind him, closing doors while new doors were
being opened up to him through our reunion.

When Tom came back to the car, he was very quiet.  He kept feeling the pain
of  his past and circumstances which prevented him from being with his
parents at the end, but one by one, he seemed to deal with it and get things
in perspective.  The past was becoming past and it was now time to build a
future . . . a future he never expected to have.  Oh, how merciful is our
God when we least deserve it!

We went into Vermillion and stopped by the house he was raised in.  Again,
emotions seemed to flood the car.  Tom was emotional as he seemed to have
the same feelings flood his heart and mind as I experienced in front of my
house.  All I could feel was a home where my brother was raised . . . not
much unlike the home I was raised in.  The neighborhoods were similar, the
economic standing of our families were very similar.  In fact, we found that
our families liked the same restaurants, our fathers both loved fishing and
did a lot of it!  Actually, there are too many similarities to even begin to
mention!  All in all, our childhoods were very similar; however, there was
one big difference . . . God knows all about it and I don't have to go into
it.

We rode around Vermillion a bit seeing where his roots were, and soon we
stopped for dinner.  Again, sitting across the table from each other was a
bit uncomfortable for me as I have a difficult time looking into men's eyes
(except my husband).  But soon we began discussing the events of the day and
the uncomfortable feeling seemed to vanish.  We both did a little bit of
crying over our pizza, but it was a cleansing cry.  Putting away the old,
and a beginning of the new!

Tom wanted me to meet his best friends, Mike and Becky.  When we arrived,
their daughter was home and she kept us company until Becky returned from
work.  I was admittedly very uncomfortable as these were people who were
part of Tom's life of alcohol and drug abuse and I wasn't sure what would
happen at their home.  I was pleasingly surprised, however, when Becky came
in.  She was beautiful with a big smile and she obviously had a lot of love
for Tom.  She hugged him and held him for a moment and came right over to me
and gave me a big hug and showed how genuinely pleased she was that Tom and
I had had this opportunity to be reunited.  The minutes soon passed and it
was time to leave . . . no drugs and no alcohol!  Mike, however, never
returned from work until after we left.  I'm so thankful for the hedge of
protection God places around His children.  I truly felt secure in Him while
in this home!

The ride home from northern Ohio seemed long, but it was good.  We listened
to some praise and worship music by Craig Smith and I sensed that Tom was
really enjoying it.  So, the volume went up and so did the praises!  From
our hearts, adoration and worship was being offered to the God of
Resotration!  What an awesome night . . . what a praise service!  We never
vocalized a word, however, you could feel the oneness in our hearts as the
intensity of our time of worship grew.  My heart was leaping for joy . . . I
know his was too!

The weekend kept us somewhat busy, but somewhat separate.  As usual, I did
the grocery shopping and Tom stayed with Ron and Andrew.  It was good,
though, that he develop the relationship with them as well.  I felt led to
go to the Christian bookstore and purchase a CD for him . . . the same music
we listened to on the way home from Northern Ohio on Thursday.  I felt it
would give him something to remember our intimate moments of worship
together.  Then, when I went to the book section, I felt the Father lead me
to get him "Loose That Man and Let Him Go" by T. D. Jakes.  I looked at
several other books, but it seemed as if this was THE ONE I was to give to
Tom.  I felt a card was also in order, and there just happened to be one
that was so appropriate to our visit.  When I got home I gave it all to him
. . . he was obviously overwhelmed.  Not only did we extend our hospitality
to him for the entire week, but he was given gifts and tokens of our love.
What better way to show God's acceptance of him . . . God is soooo good!

Sunday was an experience!  Our church services were not normal!  The Spirit
of God moved in a marvelous and mighty way Sunday morning and Tom just sat
there in awe.  He admitted it was "different", but he loved it and he felt
God.  He was greeted by several people and made to feel right at home.  A
friend of mine called today and said she just saw Tom and Ron just glowing .
. . the presence of God was around them as God was ministering to the
people!  Oh, I love the Lord and the wondrous works His of hands!

We ate at the Panda Inn . . . the meal was good, the sharing over dinner was
comfortable and meaningful at times.  Tom was at ease . . . I was at ease.
The uncomfortable feelings were about gone.  I had a brother . . . Tom had a
sister . . . we can't deny each other because of the many similarities in
looks and actions.  It would be hard to be more alike even if we had been
raised together.

God had taken us full circle . . . together as infants, then split through
adoption.  Now, 48 years later, we are both serving God, have the same
values and goals.  Had we found each other at any other time, neither one of
us would have been able to be what the other needed.  Tom would have not
been in a position to be a brother, uncle, brother-in-law, etc.  I wouldn't
have been strong enough to be the strength that he needed in a sister.  The
Lord, however, knew the timing and what was necessary for both of us.

As we sat in the airport snack shop today, we realized just how much God had
done to prepare us for this week.   His hand had been upon us from the very
beginning and He never let us go.  He was always there guiding us, leading
us, protecting us, admonishing us, and preparing us for the time we would be
reunited and our relationship as brother and sister restored.  As we looked
back over our lives we saw so many times that God plucked us out of
situations that would have caused our lives to be cut short or directed in
ways that would have not made the reunion possible.  He knew, in His
sovereignty, exactly when, how, where, and why this reunion would take place
and He guided us and led us each step of the way.

All our praise goes to God our Father for the blessings of restoration.
There aren't words to express the gratitude and overwhelming awe we both
have in our hearts right now for such a merciful Father who loves so much!
We both are praying that God will use our testimonies to bless and to
encourage others who have experienced similar circumstances . . . showing
how precisely, intricately, and intimately God deals with His people.

When Tom called tonight after he arrived home, it was obvious to me that
this week living in a Christian home where God was center and our talk lined
up with our walk left him with a challenge.  As a matter of fact, he
admitted to me that he is now facing many challenges . . . a calling on his
life to rise to meet the standards of Godly living that God has placed
before all of us.  He admittedly is done kicking and resisting the work of
God in his life . . . he's ready for submission.  I am so thankful to have
been an instrument in God's hand . . . I'm also challenged to become
stronger and bolder, to love those that aren't always easy to love, and to
see people through God's eyes.  One of the biggest revelations for me this
past week was that God truly loves the unloveable and He has a plan for
everyone's life if we'll just walk in the path He sets before us!

What a week . . . what a God!!!


Jan Ross
jross@...
http://focusontheword.com

"Sha'alu Shalom Yerushalayim"
(Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem) Psalm 122:6

~*~*~*~*~*~*
Weekly Scripture Memory:

Psalm 133
"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in
unity!  It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon
the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments;
As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of
Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore."


*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*
Focus On the Word Banner Exchange--Sign Up Today and Receive 2,500 Free
Credits
http://focusontheword.com/banex