Close As I Want To Be 
By Janet Vega


I'm sure if I took a poll of believers across the Body of Christ, and 
asked the question, "Would you like to have a closer relationship 
with God?" most if not all would say "Yes"!

A few months ago, while my husband was preaching, he asked the same 
question in the context of his message.  Of course, everyone in our 
congregation raised their hand.  Then the Lord spoke to me something 
that took me back.  His Word exposed a religious mindset that so 
easily goes undetected.  There is nothing in our mind or heart that 
is hidden from His sight, even though it may be hidden from our own. 

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-
edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints 
and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 
Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is 
uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give 
account."
 Heb. 4:12-13  (NIV)

What He said was, "Each one is just AS CLOSE TO ME AS THEY WANT TO 
BE."  Wow!  The Lord has a way of just cutting to the chase.  His 
Word truly judges the thoughts, attitudes, motives and intents of our 
heart.

We all may say we want a closer walk with God, but again, our actions 
tell on us what the truth really is.  Pursuit is the proof of 
desire.  What we pursue with our actions, not just our fine sounding 
words, is what we show we truly desire.

All of us are experts at making excuses.  We can blame the lack of 
time, our schedule, kids, exhaustion, and a host of other reasons.  
It's not that all of these things aren't valid uses of our time, 
because they are.  We all have natural responsibilities that must be 
attended to.  But it is amazing how we "find" time to do the things 
we really "want" to do.  

There's a young woman in our congregation that is working two full 
time jobs, so she could pay off some bills.  Months ago however, the 
Lord dealt with her heart about getting up extra early (about 4AM) to 
pray and spent time with Him.  This was a great sacrifice for her, as 
she goes to sleep very late because of her second job.  She was 
sharing with me how her relationship with the Lord has dramatically 
changed since then.  Her walk with God is flourishing like never 
before, and the Lord is using her to touch people's lives.

We can "say" all we want to that we desire to draw closer to Him, but 
if we are not walking it out, we are deceiving ourselves.  If each of 
us, whether pastor, prophet, or pew dweller, will be brutally honest 
with ourselves, we are as close to Him as we want to be.  Please, I 
want you to say this out loud, "I am as close to the Lord as I want 
to be."  How did you feel when you said that?

For most, conviction flooded your heart and soul with the nakedness 
of that truth.  For others, there may be a sense of consoling one's 
self with "I'm doing the best I can."  Still for others, there may be 
a resistance to what is being said altogether.  One of the Scriptures 
we looked at last week is extremely apt for today:

"Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts."      Heb. 
4:7  

This message today is not to bring condemnation in any way.  Besides 
my desire to communicate the Word of the Lord, I believe it is 
important, indeed imperative that our walk and talk be rooted and 
grounded in truth.
 
"Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in 
the inmost place."   Psalms 51:6  (NIV)

"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an 
undivided heart,
that I may fear your name."     Psalms 86:11  (NIV)

We sing a lot of songs that all too often we are not totally 
walking.  One morning as I was leading worship in our church, I was 
so grieved in my spirit.  We were singing the song, "I give you my 
heart."  The words to the chorus are:

    Lord I give You my heart
    I give You my soul
    I LIVE FOR YOU ALONE
    Every breath that I take
    Every moment I'm awake
    Lord have Your way in me

It really hit me how dishonest and religious we can be.  Now don't 
get me wrong, I LOVE THIS SONG!  What I am saying has nothing to do 
with this or any other song.  It has to do with the integrity of our 
hearts.  It has to do with worshipping the Lord in spirit and truth.

"Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will 
worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of 
worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must 
worship in spirit and in truth."    John 4:23-24  (NIV)

Worshipping God in spirit is worshipping Him from the depths of our 
being.  It is a heart that is loving and adoring Him in the beauty of 
Holiness.  It is not confined to a song or an outward form.

"The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and 
honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  Their 
worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men."     Isaiah 
29:13  (NIV)

We see in these last two Scriptures, He is looking for the HEART of a 
WORSHIPPER.  God is not looking for worship, He's looking for 
worshippers.  And if we are not worshipping Him in spirit and in 
truth, then we are not worshippers.  

As a worship leader and musician, I love playing and singing some of 
the great worship songs that the Lord is blessing the Body of Christ 
with.  We rehearse to get the sound right and play skillfully for the 
Lord.  But I continue to learn more and more, that it's not about the 
music.  It's not about the song.  It's about the heart.  The music is 
just a form.  And if we have the form without the substance, then we 
just have great music.  It will please the ear but never touch hearts 
for eternity.

There's a great song Matt Rudman wrote called "Heart of Worship" that 
articulates this so clearly.  Here are the words:

When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Than the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to a heart of worship
And it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry for the thing I've made it
`Cause it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus

"Each one is just AS CLOSE TO ME AS THEY WANT TO BE!"    - Selah


Please take some time and meditate on what adjustments or changes 
need to be made that your walk would be lined up with your talk.
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