ETERNAL INK +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The articles contained within this publication remain the copyrights of the authors. Any permission to reproduce any article, in any format, must be granted by the author. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Editor- David Davis < davidh@... > Poetry Editor- Robyn Wynn < dwynn@...> Contributing Editors- Mary Ellen Grisham < fantasy@... > Michael Powers < Thunder27@... > Tracy Shepherd < wtfi@... > ISSN#: 1528-9605 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Table Of Contents: 1) Word From The Editor 2) Devotion 3) Humor 4) Other Subscription Opportunities 5) Closing Words +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1) Word From The Editor Greetings All, As always, we want to greet our new subscribers. Please, feel a part of the Eternal Ink family. Speaking of family; if any of you have prayer requests that you would like to be shared with the rest of our readers, please send an email to: davidh@... be sure to put Eternal Ink Prayer Request or EI Prayer request in the subject line. This weeks issue is a little late due to me not feeling to well. I truly believe it's an attack of the enemy and that Jesus, as always, will be victorious in this and all situations. Well, let's get on with this abbreviated and 18th editon of Eternal Ink. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 2) Devotion Thought you might be able to use this someplace. Makes you wonder how many people go through the mechanics without understanding the words or their meaning. God bless, Dad/Jim Jim Breene jim.breene@... or jim.breene@... "We deserve liberty only so long as we are willing to sacrifice for it." Benjamin Franklin The Lords Prayer, Translated for the Millennium (person)- 'Our Father which art in heaven...' (God)---Yes? (person)- Don't interrupt me. I'm praying. (God)---But you called me. (person)-Called you? I didn't call you. I'm praying. "Our Father which art in heaven..." (God)---There you did it again. (person)-Did what? (God)---Called me. You said, "Our Father which art in heaven." Here I am...What's on your mind? (person)-But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day. I always say the Lord's Prayer. It makes me feel good, kind of like getting a duty done. (God)---All right. Go on. (person)-"Hallowed be thy name..." (God)---Hold it. What do you mean by that? (person)By what? (God)---By "hallowed be thy name"? (person)-It means... it means... Good grief, I don't know what it means. How should I know? It's just a part of the prayer. By the way, what does it mean? (God)---It means honored, holy, wonderful. (person)-Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what "hallowed" meant before. "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." (God)---Do you really mean that? (person)-Sure, why not? (God)---What are you doing about it? (person)-Doing? Nothing, I guess. I just think it would be kind of neat if you got control of everything down here like you have up there. (God)---Have I got control of you? (person)-Well, I go to church. (God)---That isn't what I asked you. What about your bad temper? You've really got a problem there, you know. And then there's the way you spend your money---all on yourself. And what about the kind of books you read? (person)-Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest of those people at the church. (God)---Excuse me. I thought you were praying for my will to be done. If that is to happen, it will have to start with the ones who are praying for it. Like you, for example. (person)-Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now that you mention it, I could probably name some others. (God)---So could I. (person)-I haven't thought about it very much until now, but I really would like to cut out some of those things. I would like to, you know, be really free. (God)---Good. Now we're getting somewhere. We'll work together, you and I. Some victories can truly be won. I'm proud of you. (person)-Look, Lord, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than it usually does. "Give us this day, our daily bread." (God)---You need to cut out the bread. You're overweight as it is. (person)-Hey, wait a minute! What is this, "Criticize me day"? Here I was doing my religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my hang-ups. (God)---Praying is a dangerous thing. You could wind up changed, you know. That's what I'm trying to get across to you. You called me, and here I am. It's too late to stop now. Keep praying, I'm interested in the next part of your prayer...(pause). Well, go on. (person)-I'm scared to. (God)---Scared? Of what? (person)-I know what you'll say. (God)---Try me and see. (person)-"Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us." (God)---What about Ann? (person)-See? I knew it! I knew you would bring her up! Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories about my family. She never paid back the debt she owes me. I've sworn to get even with her! (God)---But your prayer? What about your prayer? (person)-I didn't mean it. (God)---Well, at least you're admitting it. But it's not much fun carrying that load of bitterness around inside, is it? (person)-No. But I'll feel better as soon as I get even. Boy, have I got some plans for that neighbor. She'll wish she had never moved into this neighborhood. (God)---You won't feel any better. You'll feel worse. Revenge isn't sweet. Think of how unhappy you already are. But I can change all that. (person)-You can? How? (God)---Forgive Ann. Then I'll forgive you. Then the hate and sin will be Ann's problem and not yours. You will have settled your heart. (person)-Oh, you're right. You always are. And more than I want to revenge Ann, I want to be right with you....(pause)...(sigh). All right. All right. I forgive her. Help her to find the right road in life, Lord. She's bound to be awfully miserable now that I think about it. Anybody who goes around doing the things she does to others has to be out of it. Someway, somehow, show her the right way. (God)---There now! Wonderful! How do you feel? (person)-Hmmm. Well, not bad. Not bad at all. In fact, I feel pretty great! You know, I don't think I'll have to go to bed uptight tonight for the first time since I can remember. Maybe I won't be so tired from now on because I'm not getting enough rest. (God)---You're not through with your prayer. Go on. (person)-Oh, all right. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." (God)---Good! Good! I'll do that. Just don't put yourself in a place where you can be tempted. (person)-What do you mean by that? (God)---Don't turn on the TV when you know the laundry needs to be done and the house needs to be picked up. Also, about the time you spend coffee-ing with your friends, if you can't influence the conversation to positive things, perhaps you should re-think the value of those friendships. Another thing, your neighbors and friends shouldn't be your standard for "keeping up". And please don't use me for an escape hatch. (person)-I don't understand the last part. (God)---Sure you do. You've done it a lot of times. You get caught in a bad situation. You get into trouble and then you come running to me, "Lord, help me out of this mess, and I promise you I'll never do it again." You remember some of those bargains you tried to make with me? (person)-Yes, and I'm ashamed, Lord. I really am. (God)---Which bargain are you remembering? (person)-Well, there was the night that Bill was gone and the children and I were home alone. The wind was blowing so hard I thought the roof would go any minute and tornado warnings were out. I remember praying, "Oh, God, if you spare us, I'll never skip my devotions again." (God) --did you? (person)-I'm sorry, Lord, I really am. Up until now I thought that if I just prayed the Lord's Prayer every day, then I could do what I liked. I didn't expect anything to happen like it did. (God)---Go ahead and finish your prayer. (person)-"For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever." Amen (God)---Do you know what would bring me glory? What would really make me happy? (person)-No, but I'd like to know. I want now to please you. I can see what a mess I've made of my life. And I can see how great it would be to really be one of your followers. (God)---You just answered the question. (person)-I did? (God)---Yes. The thing that would bring me glory is to have people like you truly love me. And I see that happening between us. Now that some of these old sins are exposed and out of the way, well, there is no telling what we can do together. (person)-Lord, let's see what we can make of me, OK? Amen! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 3) Humor Privacy for Mom (or Dad) The Bathroom Door is Closed. Please do not stand here and talk, whine, or ask questions. Wait until I get out. Yes, it is locked. I want it that way. It is not broken, I am not trapped. I know I have left it unlocked, and even open at times, since you were born, because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in there, but it's been 10 years and I want some PRIVACY. Do not ask me how long I will be. I will come out when I am done. Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door. Do not go running back to the phone yelling...She's in the BATHROOM! Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in. Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them. This was funny when you were two. Do not slide pennies, Legos, or notes under the door. Even when you were two this got a little tiresome. If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in another room. I will be glad to listen to you when I am done. And yes, I still love you. Mom * Note*: show your mom how much you appreciate her... give her a break. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The Monk A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?" The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk." The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, "I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth." The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound." The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is right behind that door." The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?" The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, amethyst... Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door." The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound ..... But I can't tell YOU what it is, because YOU'RE not a monk. [Aren't I a stinker?!] +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 4) Other Subscription Opportunities It's just what you've been looking for, an e-zine and community created FOR and BY Christian homemakers. You'll find each issue packed with creative, fun, and useful homemaking helps, such as tips, advice, ideas, humor, recipes, cleaning hints, web links, inspirations, and more. Subscribe now and start receiving the weekly e-zine each Tuesday that will bless you as you create a loving, Christlike atmosphere in your home. One issue of this family-friendly homemaking e-zine and you'll be hooked! To subscribe, go to www.homefireshearth.com or send any email to Homefires_Hearth-subscribe@... Are you Christian and Single? Want to find a place where other ChristianSingles share their concerns,ideas and hearts. ChristianSingles is not a pick-up list. If this sounds like what you are looking for; send a blank email to: christiansingles-subscribe@... I would also like to make a correction. In the last issue of EI I gave the wrong URL for subscribing to Quoted-Printables. QP delievers motivational/inspirational quotes to your inbox 5 times a week. The correct URL is: http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?497 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 5) Closing Words That brings us to the end of this edition of Eternal Ink. If you would like to forward this copy to friends and relatives, please do so. To subscribe;send a blank email to: eternal_ink-subscribe@... To unsubscribe;send a blank email to: eternal_ink-unsubscribe@... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Until next we meet again................. May God Richly Bless You, David God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame.