Brothers+ There is no help for it. Once again it is Friday. Here are some Daffynitions. Charles+ --------------------------------------- artist a philosopher who has taken a moral stand against work. (see theologian) atrophy the reward following upon a race well run: win, place, or show. conspiracy theory the result of the public’s severe disenchantment with reality’s tendency toward simplicity and transparency. coverage a journalistic term, meaning propaganda. economist a devotee of chaos theory, without the math degrees; a person whose unbroken string of losses at Monopoly has spawned a vendetta against bankers and property holders; a weather man for economies. emotions 1. what men are criticized harshly for failing to show in a timely and accurate manner. 2. what men are crucified for, daily, for showing in any manner. 3. woman’s answer to the boxing ring. 4. what all of the seven deadly sins are derived from in some fashion. eschew Gesundheit. ex-boyfriend 1. a stalker; one who stalks. 2. a man incapable of telling small lies with a straight face. expectations what one’s spouse will gradually offer more and more often as a replacement for tolerance. individualism misanthropy in a suit jacket. Inquisition, the 1. an historical example of reality entertainment. 2. a plot by Jewish ringleaders to gain sympathy for their evil Zionist plans. (See conspiracy theory) integration 1. the vigorous mixing of oil and water. 2. bussing children six to twenty miles from home in the name of social reform and trying to forget about them for eight hours at a time; abandonment. 3. a clever recipe for cultural enhancement which has been swishing around in the mouths of the board of education every so often since the nineteen seventies; to be spat out upon detection of one flavor in particular: the increased need for a competent staff. intriguing a problem which has no possible solution. naive willing to believe anything; open minded. natural selection 1. a choice that comes naturally; e.g., death before disco. 2. a theory proposed in 1859 by the son of a preacher man; yes he was, he was, oh, yes he was. need American slang, to want. never the time span between resolution and desperation. New Age the religions, fallacies, snake oils, and spiritual slaveries of the old age in plastic packaging. newspaper 1. any nonsensical, poorly organized collection of fluff set to type and printed on cheap paper with inferior ink. 2. a detailed, often exaggerated description of anything unsettling which may occur, mixed in with a lot of fluff. 3. a type of writing which no reader is willing to pay for. non sequitur the art of knowing precisely at what moment to describe an aardvark. normality 1. in group homes for developmentally delayed and chronically disturbed persons, something it’s the right of every resident to have served in spades. 2. cruelty according to pecking order. 3. drugs; hyperactivity and atrophy inflicted at unhealthy intervals; electroshock therapy in the form of pills. 4. syn, apathy. radio disc jockey 1. a conservative freak; Republican politics dipped in nonsense and surrounded by hype; a walking gimmick. 2. a witless punk imitating David Letterman 3. traditionally, one with a strong voice who knows nothing about rock music. reunion synonym, reconstruction; antonym, antebellum. sane 1. recently fallen out of love. 2. characterized by the ability to foresee and understand cause and effect, like jumping off a building leading to death and denying the existence of God leading to happy and restful nights. self-respect 1. ambiguous feelings about one’s shortcomings. 2. the ability to make inexcusable behavior perfectly coincide with black-out caliber drinking. 3. narcissism. theologian 1. An inventor of abstract words making incomprehensible remarks about ultimate reality such as describing Our Heavenly Father as "the ground of being." 2. See artist tree a detritus sloughing obstacle to views of the forested horizons.