Brothers:
I just saw where the Abp Elect of Canterbury has said that he wouldn't
elevate a Mason to a higher position in the Church. I told one of my
readers yesterday that while the Abp wouldn't make him a bishop (since he is
a Mason), but he would make his a priest -- even if he was sleeping with his
neighbor, Fred. Gee wiz.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Charles Scott" <crscott@...>
To: <faithandlife@...>
Sent: Monday, November 18, 2002 9:14 AM
Subject: [FaithandLife] IT TAKES A WEDDING
>
> FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES
>
> It Takes a Wedding
> By ALEX KOTLOWITZ
>
>
> CHICAGO - With the Republican victory last week, Congress now appears
likely
> to set aside funding for programs that promote marriage among the poor. A
> friend who provides services for inner-city children declared this
marriage
> push "nuts." That had been my initial reaction, as well. But now I wonder
if
> the conservatives who are driving this effort might be on to something.
>
> There's a shift in the winds in our inner cities. On the heels of a
> fatherhood movement (which, incidentally, also had conservative roots),
more
> and more young couples are considering marriage. A long-term study of
5,000
> low-income couples has found that eight of 10 who have a child together
have
> plans to marry. "I was out in the field all of the time, interviewing
> low-income single mothers," Kathy Edin, a sociologist at Northwestern
> University, told me. "And what really struck me in those interviews was
how
> many people talked about the desire to get married. And I would go back,
you
> know, and talk to my friends in academia and they would say, 'Oh, they
can't
> mean that.' But I would hear it again and again."
>
> Might marriage be making a comeback in communities where the vast majority
> of children are born to single parents? A minister on Chicago's West Side
> told me that when he began preaching there 10 years ago, his congregation
> scoffed at his efforts to foster matrimony. But this year his church
> co-sponsored an event called "Celebrating Contentment," in which
> long-married couples testified to their happiness together. Last summer,
> there was such demand for the minister's weekly marriage enrichment
> workshops that he had to put some parishioners on a waiting list. In
> Baltimore, Joe Jones, who runs a program to promote fatherhood, is adding
> marriage classes to his curriculum. And the Nation of Islam, which
organized
> the Million Man March, has now taken up the mantle of marriage, declaring
it
> "a social institution in need of restoration."
>
> Marriage can be treacherous terrain. In 1965, Daniel Patrick Moynihan,
then
> a young official in the Department of Labor, issued a report titled "The
> Negro Family: The Case for National Action." It suggested that the
breakdown
> of the black family - one-third of all black children at the time lived
with
> only one parent - was keeping African-Americans from finding their way
into
> the middle class. Mr. Moynihan was pilloried by progressives; he was
accused
> of blaming the victim. Liberals essentially abdicated the discussion about
> family to the conservatives, and have had a tough time finding their way
> back since.
>
> But there is now growing consensus among social scientists that, all
things
> being equal, two parents are best for children. It would seem to follow
that
> two-parent families are also best for a community. It may take a village
to
> raise a child, but it takes families to build a village.
>
> While liberals haven't done enough to emphasize the importance of marriage
> in reinforcing the bonds that hold society together, conservatives have
put
> too much faith in the power of marriage alone to lift people out of
poverty.
>
> In 1988, Vince Lane, then the director of the Chicago Housing Authority,
was
> conducting top-to-bottom searches of public housing high-rises, looking
for
> guns and drugs. But the discovery that most dismayed him was the large
> number of men living with their girlfriends illegally. They weren't on the
> lease. In the raids, Mr. Lane found them hiding in closets and in bathtubs
> and in laundry baskets. At one high-rise, Mr. Lane got fed up. He told the
> men they could stay - if they got married. So the city hosted an
> all-expenses-paid (honeymoon included) eight-couple shotgun wedding.
>
> What's happened to the couples since? Most have split up, which should
come
> as no surprise. The stress of not having money, of living in decrepit
> housing, of sending children to poorly funded schools would take its toll
on
> even the most committed relationship. So how then might we help get
couples
> to the altar? By pushing marriage? Or by helping ease the strains in
> people's lives?
>
> It would be wrongheaded to encourage marriage by stigmatizing single
> parenthood, a process that has already begun with the reintroduction of
the
> word "illegitimacy" into the lexicon. After all, that's the very
> constituency the government is trying to reach.
>
> Wade Horn, the Bush administration official who oversees the welfare
> program, has assured critics that the administration, by supporting
> demonstration projects that promote marriage, doesn't intend to coerce
> people to the altar. And, indeed, what tools government has available -
like
> the relationship training seminars Oklahoma has begun to offer - seem
benign
> enough, if unproven.
>
> When it comes to social engineering, government has turned out to be a
> clumsy catalyst. Mr. Moynihan, whose report was in many ways prescient -
the
> numbers he cited for black families in 1965 now apply to all families,
> regardless of race - has said, "If you expect government to change
families,
> you know more about government than I do."
>
> Even if conservatives don't know how to get there, at least they recognize
> that marriage, this very private institution, has very public
consequences.
> Liberals, who have a much firmer understanding of the obstacles poor
people
> face, need to enter that conversation.
>
>
> Alex Kotlowitz, author of "There Are No Children Here," is correspondent
for
> the forthcoming "Frontline" program, "Let's Get Married."
>
>
>
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