[forthright] Practical Techniques for Conflict Management

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From: Randal Matheny <randalm@...>
Date: Tue, 19 Nov 2002 12:03:44 -0200
Forthright Magazine

Here's the whole of today's article, from an old
friend. Perhaps you'd like to add a suggestion
online at the link above.

Practical Techniques for Conflict Management
by Dr. Michael Landon

1. Conflict can be good, useful, creative.

2. Admit your own part in creating problem.

3. Admit problem may only be your imagination.
Don't get into mind-reading. Do talk with person
in order to check perceptions.

4. Make "I feel, I think (don't know), my
imagination says" statements. Be very careful in
making accusations.

5. Avoid bringing up old history, especially if
you've already argued about it.

6. Don't make exaggerated claims (always, never,
all, none). You can say, "I know it's not true,
but is seems like you always ..."

7. Go for win/win or no deal, when possible.

8. Don't criticize something the other person
can't change.

9. It's generally best to go privately (Matthew
18), unless you feel physically threatened.

10. When confronted by anger, don't respond with

11. Avoid over-focusing (determine that the person
is the problem). Solve the problem; don't attack
the person.
Michael is Professor of Bible and Missions at
Southwest Christian College in Terrell, Texas, and
a former missionary to Brazil.

Read the article online and add your suggestions
as well: