Ahh DW .... you always manage to bring a smile to my face. Pax, Steve David Warner wrote: > > Guys, you can not put a Presbyterian **under**. > > > > D Warner > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > *From:* Mr Dean West [mailto:ldw45@...] > *Sent:* Friday, February 02, 2007 6:53 AM > *To:* pastorsforum@... > *Subject:* Re: [PastorsForum] Hermeneutics in Everyday Life > > > > Don't tell Steve but did you notice he is a Presbyterian too!!! > ....... that goes under ..... > > Dean > > <http://www.angelfire.com/nt/theology/gospel.html>----- Original > Message ----- > > *From:* Jeff Hallmark <mailto:bctexan@...> > > *To:* pastorsforum@... <mailto:pastorsforum@...> > > *Sent:* Friday, February 02, 2007 1:09 AM > > *Subject:* Re: [PastorsForum] Hermeneutics in Everyday Life > > > > *Thanks for the link, Bro. Dean > > I marked this guy under my "calvinism, cults etc..." bookmarker. > > Jeff* > > On 2/1/07, *Mr Dean West* <ldw45@... > <mailto:ldw45@...>> wrote: > > ** ** http://www.angelfire.com/nt/theology/hermen1.html > > Just For Fun > > Hermeneutics in Everyday Life (A Stop Sign) > > Suppose you're traveling to work and you see a stop sign. What do > you do? That depends on how you exegete the stop sign. > > 1. A postmodernist deconstructs the sign (knocks it over with > his car), ending forever the tyranny of the north-south > traffic over the east-west traffic. > 2. Similarly, a Marxist sees a stop sign as an instrument of > class conflict. He concludes that the bourgeoisie use the > north-south road and obstruct the progress of the workers on > the east-west road. > 3. A serious and educated Catholic believes that he cannot > understand the stop sign apart from its interpretive > community and their tradition. Observing that the > interpretive community doesn't take it too seriously, he > doesn't feel obligated to take it too seriously either. > 4. An average Catholic (or Orthodox or Coptic or Anglican or > Methodist or Presbyterian or whatever) doesn't bother to > read the sign but he'll stop if the car in front of him does. > 5. A fundamentalist, taking the text very literally, stops at > the stop sign and waits for it to tell him to go. > 6. A preacher might look up "STOP" in his lexicons of English > and discover that it can mean: 1) something which prevents > motion, such as a plug for a drain, or a block of wood that > prevents a door from closing; 2) a location where a train or > bus lets off passengers. The main point of his sermon the > following Sunday on this text is: when you see a stop sign, > it is a place where traffic is naturally clogged, so it is a > good place to let off passengers from your car. > 7. An orthodox Jew does one of two things: > > o Take another route to work that doesn't have a stop > sign so that he doesn't run the risk of disobeying the > Law. > > o Stop at the stop sign, say "Blessed art thou, O Lord > our God, king of the universe, who hast given us thy > commandment to stop," wait 3 seconds according to his > watch, and then proceed. > > Incidentally, the Talmud has the following comments on this > passage: Rabbi Meir says: /He who does not stop shall not live > long/. R. Hillel says:/ Cursed is he who does not count to three > before proceeding/. R. Simon ben Yudah says: /Why three? Because > the Holy One, blessed be He, gave us the Law, the Prophets, and > the Writings/. R. ben Isaac says: /Because of the three > patriarchs/. R. Yehuda says:/ Why bless the Lord at a stop sign? > Because it says: "Be still, and know that I am God."/ R. Hezekiel > says: /When Jephthah returned from defeating the Ammonites, the > Holy One, blessed be He, knew that a donkey would run out of the > house and overtake his daughter; but Jephthah did not stop at the > stop sign, and the donkey did not have time to come out. For this > reason he saw his daughter first and lost her. Thus he was judged > for his transgression at the stop sign/. R. Gamaliel says: /R. > Hillel, when he was a baby, never spoke a word, though his parents > tried to teach him by speaking and showing him the words on a > scroll. One day his father was driving through town and did not > stop at the sign. Young Hillel called out: "Stop, father!" In this > way, he began reading and speaking at the same time. Thus it is > written: "Out of the mouth of babes." /R. ben Jacob says: /Where > did the stop sign come from? Out of the sky, for it is written: > "Forever, O Lord, your word is fixed in the heavens."/ R. ben > Nathan says:/ When were stop signs created? On the fourth day, for > it is written: "let them serve as signs."/ R. Yeshuah says: ... > [continues for three more pages] > > 1. A Pharisee does the same thing as an orthodox Jew, except > that he waits 10 seconds instead of 3. He also replaces his > brake lights with 1000 watt searchlights and connects his > horn so that it is activated whenever he touches the brake > pedal. > 2. A scholar from a Jesuit seminary concludes that the passage > "STOP" undoubtably was never uttered by Jesus himself, but > belongs entirely to stage III of the gospel tradition, when > the church was first confronted by traffic in its parking lot. > 3. A New Testament scholar notices that there is no stop sign > on Mark street but there is one on Matthew and Luke streets, > and concludes that the ones on Luke and Matthew streets are > both copied from a sign on a completely hypothetical street > called "Q". There is an excellent 300 page discussion of > speculations on the origin of these stop signs and the > differences between the stop signs on Matthew and Luke > street in the scholar's commentary on the passage. There is > an unfortunate omission in the commentary, however; the > author apparently forgot to explain what the text means. > 4. An Old Testament scholar points out that there are a number > of stylistic differences between the first and second half > of the passage "STOP". For example, "ST" contains no > enclosed areas and 5 line endings, whereas "OP" contains two > enclosed areas and only one line termination. He concludes > that the author for the second part is different from the > author for the first part and probably lived hundreds of > years later. Later scholars determine that the second half > is itself actually written by two separate authors because > of similar stylistic differences between the "O" and the "P". > 5. Another prominent OT scholar notes in his commentary that > the stop sign would fit better into the context three > streets back. (Unfortunately, he neglected to explain why in > his commentary.) Clearly it was moved to its present > location by a later redactor. He thus exegetes the > intersection as though the stop sign were not there. > 6. Because of the difficulties in interpretation, another OT > scholar emends the text, changing "T" to "H". "SHOP" is much > easier to understand in context than "STOP" because of the > multiplicity of stores in the area. The textual corruption > probably occurred because "SHOP" is so similar to "STOP" on > the sign several streets back that it is a natural mistake > for a scribe to make. Thus the sign should be interpreted to > announce the existence of a shopping area. > 7. A "Word of Faith" preacher reads the sign and explains that > we are redeemed from the curse of the law; therefore we are > not bound from such negative laws. He further expounds that > to repeat the word printed on the sign is to make a bad > confession. Gives advice that it is best to interpret the > sign as a "GO". (Does so and is unfortunately hit by the Mac > truck of reality coming in the opposite direction.) > > > > To subscribe, send a message to: pastorsforum-join@... <mailto:pastorsforum-join@...> > > > > To unsubs > > cribe, send a message to: pastorsforum-unsubscribe@... <mailto:pastorsforum-unsubscribe@...> > > > > > > > > > > > -- > Bro. Jeff Hallmark > www.sprucelandbaptist.com <http://www.sprucelandbaptist.com> > http://baptist-potluck.blogspot.com/ > <http://baptist-potluck.blogspot.com/> > > > > To subscribe, send a message to: pastorsforum-join@... > > To unsubscribe, send a message to: pastorsforum-unsubscribe@... > > > > > > To subscribe, send a message to: pastorsforum-join@... > > To unsubs > cribe, send a message to: pastorsforum-unsubscribe@... > > > > -- ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Pastor Steven G. Rockhill Lisbon Reformed Presbyterian Church PO Box 88 Lisbon, NY 13658 315-393-9041 revrock@... http://lisbonrpc.port5.com +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++