Charlie,
   Hope this message below helps with some thoughts - it is a portion of 
the message I preached at a funeral last summer it was for a 21 year old 
young man who  was the only child of his parents.  He was killed in a 
car wreck.  He was extremely bright and gifted and was loved by many. 
We had over 300 people at the service in our 'little country church' - 
we had folks downstairs with video feed and folks out in a tent with 
audio.  It was one of the most difficult things I have done - but God 
was gracious and the Gospel went forth.  I will pray the same for your 
message.

Peace,
Steve



This past Sunday afternoon, Phil gave me a ride home from church and on 
the way we discussed the topic of the afternoon message, which centered 
on God’s providence.  We discussed how God is indeed sovereign in all 
things and how in His preserving and governing of all things He works 
out His plan according to His most holy and wise counsel.  As we will 
sing shortly in Psalm 46 “Even though the earth be removed, And though 
the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;  3 Though its waters 
roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling. …5 
God is in the midst of her … 6 The nations raged, the kingdoms were 
moved; …8 Come, behold the works of the LORD, Who has made desolations 
in the earth.  9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; He breaks 
the bow and cuts the spear in two; He burns the chariot in the fire.  10 
Be still, and know that I am God;” Phil and I even discussed how 
tragedies are in God’s control, citing 9-11, the recent tragic death of 
a friend and even the death of a child as examples.  And how these 
tragedies are not only used for God’s purpose, but also, how He promises 
to bring good out of them for His people: Romans 8:28  28  We know that 
all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who 
are the called according to His purpose..  After a while, I finally 
confessed to Phil that it is very difficult to explain how God’s 
sovereignty and providence work because so much of it is a mystery.  As 
the Scriptures tell us in Romans 11:33-34  3 Oh, the depth of the riches 
both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His 
judgments and His ways past finding out!  34 "For who has known the mind 
of the LORD? Or who has become His counselor?"  So I told Phil, that 
despite this mystery, God in His mercy and kindness has given us the 
Truth revealed in the Scriptures and that we must have faith, and 
believe it and even cling to it if we must.  Even though we cannot see 
it, this truth is our great hope and comfort.  At the time, we did not 
know, but God knew, that less than 48 hours later Phil and Mary’s faith 
in God and this promise of His Word would be put to the ultimate test in 
a most dramatic way when Matthew was killed.  When I arrived at their 
home early Tuesday morning, all else seemed shattered and lost around 
them, but I found them both clinging with every fiber in their bodies to 
this precious promise.  They continue to cling to it even now, as many 
of us are doing.  May the Lord give us the strength to continue to do so.
	God’s word also offers to us some very significant challenges in 
regards to suffering and death.  As a pastor-friend once told me “The 
important thing is not that trouble has happened.  But, the important 
thing is what happens to us through trouble”  Even in a time of sorrow 
such as we are experiencing today; even with some questions that will go 
unanswered, we should be aware of God’s presence and purpose.  We should 
be asking, “What is God teaching me through this?”  Here are some 
possibilities.
1)	Perhaps God is teaching us that we cannot rely upon our own strength. 
  We cannot save ourselves.  We need to be totally dependent upon Him. 
We see in His Word that His Spirit “helps us in our weaknesses” and that 
His ultimate goal is that those who trust in Him are “predestined to be 
conformed to the image of His Son.”  God wants those who love Him, to be 
like His Son Jesus Christ. And we know that Hebrews 2:10  10 For it was 
fitting for Him, for whom are all things and by whom are all things, in 
bringing many sons to glory, to make the captain of their salvation 
(that is Christ) perfect through sufferings.” God allows His people to 
suffer, just as His own Son suffered, that they may learn to totally 
depend upon Him.
2)	Perhaps God is teaching us about ministry to those around us.  Phil 
and Mary are hurting deeply and will need to benefit from the ministry 
of others.  As I stand here I am amazed at all those who have come to 
‘minister’ to Phil and Mary in their grief.  Who just by your presence 
today and the expressions of your sympathy are showing your love for 
them and for Matthew.  But please, I urge you all – do not forget Phil 
and Mary, in remembering the dead we must not forget the living.  Their 
pain runs deep and it will continue.  It may be hard to imagine now, but 
many may be tempted several months from now to avoid Phil and Mary – 
because it may be too uncomfortable.  You might be afraid to mention 
Matthew’s name in front of them.  Afraid that it would stir up too much 
emotion.  Thinking: What will I say to them?  How can I comfort them? 
But here in Romans 8 (vs.  26, 27) we are told that even though we do 
not know what to pray, the Spirit is able to understand our groans and 
speechlessness.  If the Spirit of God can help us with our weaknesses in 
prayer, then certainly He can help us with our words of comfort and 
ministry to those who are hurting.  However, it is true for most of us 
that we cannot even imagine the severity of the pain that Phil and Mary 
are going through.  For those who are parents, we know that losing a 
child is our greatest fear and we do not even want to entertain the 
possibility.  But I know that, providentially, God has provided a small 
handful of people, some who are here even now, that know exactly what it 
feels like to lose a child.  God’s Word challenges  2 Corinthians 1:3-4 
  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of 
mercies and God of all comfort,  4 who comforts us in all our 
tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any 
trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 
  To those I ask you to minister to Phil and Mary. Minister and comfort 
each other in that special way that only you are able.  For it is 
possible some day Phil and Mary, equipped because of the comfort they 
received from God and others during this time may be called upon to 
minister to those who suffer in like manner.
3)	Perhaps God is teaching us that we have been given a precious gift. 
When one dies before they have lived out their expected years, we are 
often reminded of how short life can be.  This precious gift of life, 
which God has given to us, we often take for granted.  In childhood, we 
often put ourselves at great risk and do not realize it.  Thus we have 
our parents’ instruction to teach us about safety and self care.  In 
adulthood, we may put things off until tomorrow or next week or next 
month or next year, not always taking into account what could happen 
today.  Whether this be things like: cleaning the car, doing household 
repairs, pursuing career goals, looking up old friends, visiting those 
in need or spending time with family.  All the while, we expect that we 
will have the time to do these things.  I am sure we would have a 
different attitude if we knew when our time on this earth was finished. 
  But, we do not know this information.  Only the Lord does.  But still, 
we should live each day in true recognition and thanksgiving of the gift 
that life truly is, and we should labor to use it wisely.  Now this is 
not an endorsement of a “Drink, eat and be merry for tomorrow you may 
die” philosophy.  A philosophy taken up by many in our culture today, 
and often times we especially see it in our young people, but this 
philosophy is certainly not limited to age.  Living life care-free, 
having a false sense of invulnerability because of their youth, 
carousing, partying, laughing in the face of danger, living only for 
themselves, and if they think of it, putting off more serious 
responsibility to some undetermined point in the future when they will 
suddenly ‘grow up’ and have to be a responsible adult.	This is not how 
God would have us use our lives.  But our true purpose, the one for 
which we were created for is given in, 1 Corinthians 10:31  31 “Whether, 
then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 
Striving to live for God’s glory according to His Word.  It is true that 
we will not accomplish everything we set out to do and we will have 
regrets about what we did not do, but knowing that we were good stewards 
of the time the Lord has given us will be a reward in itself.
4)	Finally, perhaps the Lord is teaching us that we have a Great Hope. 
That we have a hope for the deliverance from the eternal effects of sin 
and death.  That we have the Lord Jesus Christ.  As we read in 8:31 
“What then shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who is 
against us?  He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for 
us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” God 
knows what it is like for His only Son to be killed.  But God’s Son was 
a perfect sacrifice for the sins of those who believe on Him.  God gave 
His Son that there might be a Light of Hope in a dark and sinful world. 
  As we have seen through this tragedy of Matthew’s death, we do not 
know the time that God has set for our departure from this world, but 
what we do know is that it will come. And as you hear of the hope that 
is offered in Christ Jesus today, do not put off considering where you 
stand with your Creator.  Do not put off seeking reconciliation with God 
for your own sins and trespasses.  For, if you are enabled to humble 
yourselves, confess and repent of your sins and submit to Him then you 
will have the assurance that David expressed in Psalm 23:4 “Yea though I 
walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For 
you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me”.

A final word of comfort to Phil and Mary:  Although it may seem as 
though you have lost your life and your whole world has fallen down 
around you … You have your friends, you have the fellowship of God’s 
people, you have your family, you have each other and you have the ever 
present comforting Spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ who promises Romans 
8:38-39   38 that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities 
nor powers, nor things present nor things to come,  39 nor height nor 
depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from 
the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.







Charlie Carroll Jr. wrote:
> I just want to clarify about the help I am talking about here.  I need 
> help with preparing the funeral message.  I know God will supply all the 
> help I need but I really think He helps by sending you guys..
> here because of Jesus
> Charlie
> Phil.4:13
> 
>