[soundofgrace] Biblical Theology and Counseling

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From: "Chad Richard Bresson" <breusswane@...>
Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2004 00:42:27 -0400
Biblical Theology and Counseling - 1999 Kerux Lecture - Bill BaldwinThis is
the best article that I've read, period, on Biblical Counseling.  The biblical
counselor must start with the believer's union in Christ.  Giving hope to the
counselee must begin with hope in Christ, not hope in change.  Christ our hope
is the overarching reality of the already/not yet eschaton in which we find
ourselves and it is the moorings of the text.  Therefore, Christ our hope is
where we must start...and this is why biblical counselors, IMHO, should not
approach the scriptures primarily as if they are a guidebook for life... or a
textbook.  Doing so, even in a nouthetic schema, makes the program no better
than AA... the principles have been stripped from the Person and without the
person, it's just another set of principles; the fact they came from the canon
becomes irrelevant.

We offer counselees a Person, not a textbook.  The text is only as good at
changing lives as the Person who is the reality behind the text... THE WORD of
The Word.  We must start with The Person of Christ as the Hope, and then go to
the text.  This is why I firmly believe the nouthetic mantra of "do it because
God said so in His Word" tends toward legalism and throws a veil over
Christ... it fails to recognize that God's rules are not arbitrary... the text
is grounded in a Person, therefore the relationship between the new creation
and the text is first and foremost a personal one.  I'm not first and foremost
aligning myself with God's commands.  I'm aligning myself with God's character
in Christ.. the commands merely point me to the bigger fulfillment in Christ.

The one phrase that sticks out: "Convince them of that, and fornication will
become impossible".  It sounds radical.  But no phrase highlights what the
imperative means in light of the indicative better than that phrase.  Bill
isn't chucking put off/put on.  He is emphasizing the radical, life-changing
nature of the indicative itself.  This is what the union in Christ should mean
to those who claim to be in union with Christ.  There are a number of reasons
why the old-school nouthetics balk at this kind of statement... ultimately,
IMHO, it's a faithlessness in Christ himself to affect change in the lives of
his own.  I also think there is a subtle appeal to our flesh in wanting to
hammer the law and hammer the put off at the expense of the Christological
indicative... we are behaviorists by nature because we are legalists by
nature.  The "union in Christ" paradigm forces us to crucify ourselves as
counselors and it calls the counselees to come and die and crucify themselves.
Put off/put on can be a legalistic crutch that veils Christ's glory.  We must
then ask ourselves: is our hope truly in Christ?

If it is true that the primary task of counseling is "change" (and we're
assuming here that what we mean by change is conformity to Christ and
renouncing the old man who died with Christ), then we must affirm what Baldwin
says here: "There are no tricks to godliness. There is not a set of behaviors
which, if followed, will result in godliness. You are not under a covenant of
works. You could not bear it if you were. You are under a covenant of grace in
which godliness comes graciously from Christ as you immerse yourself in him.
You cannot force yourself by any trick to become godly. Godliness comes from
Christ and Christ is known through his gospel. If you are to be godly, you
must know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his
suffering, having been conformed to his death in order that, if possible, you
may attain to the resurrection of the dead.  So, Paul says to Timothy, do you
want godliness? Nourish yourself on Christ. Feed upon him. Teach your
congregation the mystery of Christ which is the mystery of godliness and you
yourself will be nourished on it."

Chad

btw... you can hear it here:
http://www.two-age.org/cgi-bin/countdown/countdown.cgi?kerux_1999/bbaldwin.ram
http://members.surfbest.net/pages@.../bible/papers/btandcounseling.htm

Biblical Theology and Counseling

Presented at The Kerux Conference, June 22, 1999
Kerux, Inc., 1131 Whispering Highlands Dr., Escondido, CA 92027-4961
Bill Baldwin


Counseling is about sanctification. And sanctification is a mystery. Let us be
clear on that at the outset. It will guard us from many errors. Counseling is
about sanctification. And sanctification is a mystery. That is to say,
counseling is about growth in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus
Christ. You may plant or water, but only God can cause the growth. Counseling
is about the Spirit who blows wherever he will.

At the beginning, then, all appeals to the flesh are eliminated. The flesh is
not the power behind sanctification. No good will come of setting before the
counselee steps that he is able to follow, lists of things he is able to do
which will somehow result in this mystery of the Spirit of Christ taking
place. If he asks, "What must I do that I may work the works of God?" we will
reply as our Lord replied: "This is the work of God, to believe in the one
whom he has sent."

Counseling is not the primary means by which the sheep of Christ are enabled
to grow in grace and the knowledge of him. Counseling is not the primary means
of sanctification. The preaching of Christ is. Counseling must take a
subordinate role to that preaching of Christ, and indeed to the other means of
grace as well, that is to the sacraments and prayer.

Counseling must not contradict the preaching or take a different approach.
Counseling must not say something different from the sacraments and prayer.
And what do they say? The cry of prayer is "I have nothing but Christ! And
apart from him I can do nothing." The sacrament of baptism says only washing
by Christ can make you clean. The sacrament of the Lord's Supper says earthly
food avails nothing, for it feeds only your own strength that is passing away.
But here is heavenly food. Here is Christ. Feed on him and you shall never
perish.

Our preaching must say these things as well. And if our preaching must, so
must our counseling. Whatever we say about preaching, we must say about
counseling. Whatever we require of preaching, we require of counseling.
Whatever we prohibit to preaching, we prohibit to counseling. Counseling is
not a different approach to sanctification; it is not an approach that we take
when the preaching of Christ and him crucified fails.

If the preaching of Christ and him crucified fails, we have no backup plan, no
fail-safe, no other hope. If the preaching of Christ and him crucified fails,
we have no other sign save this stumbling block, no other wisdom save this
foolishness. If the preaching of Christ and him crucified fails, it is not as
though the word of God has failed and left us to other devices. We will preach
him all the more, and he shall have the victory.

Counseling is nothing other than the private preaching of the word to those
whose need is so great or whose thirst so unquenchable that they need more of
the same. More of Christ. We shall not be embarrassed to give them more, for
we shall never run out. He is inexhaustible, a continuous rain of manna from
heaven, feeding five thousands upon five thousands.

Counseling is our response to the exhortation: "Preach the word. Be ready in
season and out of season." So we shall and so we must be ready to preach the
word not only on the Lord's Day but in every circumstance as God grants us
opportunity and breath.

I have spoken so far of the counseling that will be done by the minister of
the gospel. And this is proper. Counseling is, above all, a ministry of the
word of Christ. It is in a special way the province of the minister of that
word.

But I realize there are others present who wish to understand how they may
stimulate one another to love and good deeds. This presentation is for you as
well. You also must learn to speak to one another of the sufficiency of
Christ. You also must learn to recognize the indicative--the things that are
true because of Christ--in one another. You also must know how to encourage
one another to set all your hope on the grace that is coming when Christ is
revealed.

In all this, you must understand something. I speak of counseling those who
are members of the church. For how can you say to a non-member, "You are a
saint. You are in Christ. You are dead to sin and alive to God."? Let the
non-member come before the elders and profess faith. Let the heavens be opened
as the elders declare, "That is a like precious faith with our own," binding
on earth what has already been bound in heaven. Let them know that the Chief
Shepherd has given them an undershepherd who will feed them upon the bread
which comes down out of heaven. Let them know that the privilege of
ecclesiastical discipline will be theirs, should their Savior need to speak to
them with such tender sternness. Only in such a context will counseling make
sense.

Let us look at the Scriptures, then, to see how godliness is to be produced.

THE MYSTERY OF GODLINESS (1 Timothy 3:16 - 4:11)

    And without controversy great is the mystery of godliness:
    God was manifested in the flesh,
    Justified in the Spirit,
    Seen by angels,
    Preached among the Gentiles,
    Believed on in the world,
    Received up in glory.

  1Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from
the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, 2speaking
lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron,
3forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from foods which God created
to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. 4For
every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be refused if it is received
with thanksgiving; 5for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.

  6If you instruct the brethren in these things, you will be a good minister
of Jesus Christ, nourished in the words of faith and of the good doctrine
which you have carefully followed. 7But reject profane and old wives' fables,
and exercise yourself toward godliness. 8For bodily exercise profits a little,
but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that
now is and of that which is to come. 9This is a faithful saying and worthy of
all acceptance. 10For to this end we both labor and suffer reproach, because
we trust in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of those
who believe. 11These things command and teach.

Paul begins this section by instructing Timothy that the doctrine of Christ is
the mystery of godliness. "Without controversy, great is the mystery of
godliness," he writes so that Timothy may know how to conduct himself in the
church. Yet what follows is not a series of pithy sayings, a grab bag of tips
and tricks for Timothy to master so he can control his temper, smile
sincerely, listen patiently, and give every appearance of loving the sheep.
This is how the world would pursue advising a pastor.

Paul doesn't waste his time; he knows a more excellent way. If Timothy is to
be godly, he must immerse himself in the doctrine of Christ. This seems a
strange way to go about it. Why not just tell Timothy what to do and let him
do it? Because there is no power in Timothy's flesh, as though he can simply
hear what he is supposed to do and go out and do it. His power must come from
Christ, so to Christ Paul sends him. Godliness, Paul says, is a mystery and
that mystery is hidden in Christ.

How does Paul sum up godliness?

  He who was revealed in the flesh
  was vindicated in the Spirit
  beheld by angels
  proclaimed among the Gentiles
  Believed on in the world
  Taken up in glory

It is not a set of do's and don'ts but the mystery of the Lord Jesus Christ.
That is the power of godliness to Timothy and to those who will hear him.

Paul writes this knowing that another way of godliness is being offered. He
warns Timothy against it. He says: "The Spirit expressly says that in latter
times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and
doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience
seared with a hot iron."

What are these men doing? They are forbidding to marry. They are commanding to
abstain from certain foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving
by those who believe and know the truth. That is to say, they are trying to be
sanctified by the discipline of their flesh, by the imposition of an arbitrary
code of behavior. Paul says in another place to the Colossians,

  Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as
though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: 21"Do not handle!
Do not taste! Do not touch!"? 22These are all destined to perish with use,
because they are based on human commands and teachings. 23Such regulations
indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their
false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value
in restraining sensual indulgence. (Col 2:20-23)

Stay away from it, Timothy! Be warned! There are no tricks to godliness. There
is not a set of behaviors which, if followed, will result in godliness. You
are not under a covenant of works. You could not bear it if you were. You are
under a covenant of grace in which godliness comes graciously from Christ as
you immerse yourself in him.

You cannot force yourself by any trick to become godly. Godliness comes from
Christ and Christ is known through his gospel. If you are to be godly, you
must know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his
suffering, having been conformed to his death in order that, if possible, you
may attain to the resurrection of the dead.

So, Paul says to Timothy, do you want godliness? Nourish yourself on Christ.
Feed upon him. Teach your congregation the mystery of Christ which is the
mystery of godliness and you yourself will be nourished on it.

Do you see the language? He's not saying to Timothy you need to have your
doctrine down pat so that you have your facts straight when people ask so that
you can win arguments. He's saying you need to know the doctrine of Christ
because this is your food and this is your drink. If you hunger and thirst
after righteousness, you will be satisfied in him and him alone.

Paul says you will be nourished. As food feeds your body and so it becomes
strong, so this mystery of godliness feeds your inner man and he is renewed
day by day. You must come to Christ as to a feast and devour the knowledge of
him and be strengthened by it.

I used to think the highest compliment I could receive for a sermon is that it
was "convicting." And indeed your sermons and mine should convict the
congregation of sin and bring them to repentance. But woe to you and me if we
leave them there with no sense that they have been washed, sanctified,
purified by the Spirit of Christ. If we leave them at "convicted" we leave
them to their own devices to turn from their sin and to walk in righteousness.

But they have no devices! Nothing good dwells in their flesh! And so they must
despair or become proud of their own filthy righteousness. Teach them to hate
their own righteousness and boast in the Lord. Now, of all the compliments I
have received for my preaching, the dearest is this: a woman once said to me:
"I want to thank you for helping me love my Savior more." There's practical
for you!

So nourish yourself on Christ. Teach your congregation the mystery of Christ
and you will yourself be nourished on that mystery, Paul says. Look at the
language!

The crucifixion and resurrection are not simply facts that one must assent to.
They are facts in which you must find yourself hidden. You have died with
Christ in his crucifixion and your life is hidden with him in God. Sin shall
not be your master. You have been raised with him to a new life. Believe these
things and you will walk in these ways. This is the mystery of godliness--that
it springs from the knowledge of Christ.

Paul says train yourself for that godliness by rejecting those doctrines of
demons, this sanctification which comes through the discipline of the flesh.
Train yourself for godliness by immersing yourself in the consuming doctrine
of Christ.

The unprofitable bodily discipline of which Paul speaks is not aerobic
exercise. It is the fleshly exercises just mentioned by which men attempt to
force themselves to do what is right. And by diligent application, they may
produce an outward righteousness of pharisaic proportions. But in the day they
die, their righteousness perishes with them, for it is a human righteousness.
With Paul, you count all such righteousness dung if only you may gain Christ.

Godliness profits forever, because true godliness is walking in this
righteousness of Christ, being fed and nourished by him, that he may receive
all the glory. You've set your hope on an eternal God; therefore seek the
godliness that lasts forever.

Bodily discipline profits not at all. The discipline of the flesh is nothing.
But godliness holds promise both for this life and the life that is to come.
Therefore, Timothy, he says, command and teach these things. Command and teach
the mystery of godliness which is the knowledge of Christ. Do not fail to
immerse your congregation in the knowledge of Christ that they too may be
impelled to love and good deeds. In doing this, Paul ends the chapter, you
will save yourself and those who hear you.

You will save yourself and those who hear you! For Paul, salvation is not
simply your justification. Salvation is your justification followed by your
perseverance and your growth in grace terminating in your glorification at the
last day. And he says the instrument by which that happens is the knowledge of
the Lord Jesus Christ.

Counseling then is a matter of setting Christ continually before the
counselee. How do we do this? Let's get practical! But as Scripture is
practical. Let's make some application! But as Scripture makes application.
How do we set Christ before our counselees so that they lay hold of him, so
that they feed upon him, so that he becomes the inner spring which is the
source of their sanctification?

I will offer several observations from Scripture in that regard.

SET BEFORE THEM THEIR UNION WITH CHRIST

To become proper counselors, we must learn to reason with the counselee as
Paul reasons with the Romans. In Romans, Paul does not attempt to produce
obedience through a guilt trip. Far from it. He tells them their guilt is
gone. It has been carried away in the body of Christ. He has been raised for
their justification. They are righteous.

Everything that they need to stand before God on judgment day has been
accomplished in Christ. Their very judgment day has been accomplished in his
cross and resurrection and it is over and they have been declared righteous in
him. There is nothing more they need to do. To the world, this is foolishness.
Why should the Romans change their behavior? Why should they do what is right
if the blessings of obedience have already been given to them fully in Christ?
If we take away guilt and the fear of punishment, what motivation does anyone
have to do right? Why not sin that grace may abound?

And this is exactly the question Paul asks. "What shall we say then? Shall we
continue in sin that grace may abound?" (Rom 6:1).

Paul is not afraid of this question. He brings it up himself. Let us not be
afraid to provoke that question either by the full disclosure of the glory of
justification in Christ Jesus. Let us tell the counselee how completely
justified he is. He stands utterly righteous before God. Acquitted. Pleasing
in God's sight. Then and only then is he in a position to understand the call
to obedience.

Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound?

  Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? 3Or do
you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were
baptized into His death? 4Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism
into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the
Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

Paul's answer is surprising. Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound?
Certainly not! Just because you're justified doesn't mean God won't punish you
if you sin. Bad things will happen if you do bad things. Be careful! Paul says
nothing of the sort. That would contradict his earlier thesis that all
blessings are theirs already in Christ Jesus. That would contradict his later
thesis that there is no condemnation for them in Christ Jesus.

Paul does not appeal to the Romans' fear, and he doesn't appeal to their
guilt. For they have no guilt before God, and they need fear nothing. And even
if they did, these things are not sufficient motivators. For guilt and fear
motivate only the flesh which is corrupt and can do no good thing.

Paul's answer is surprising; it's not what most people would expect. Face it.
It's not what we expect a lot of times. Why shouldn't I sin? Because I'm
united to Christ who is dead to sin and raised to new life! For Paul, it's the
most natural answer in the world because he has disciplined himself in the
doctrine of Christ. So the first thing that occurs to him in any such question
is, what does this have to do with what Christ has done for me and in me, and
will do through me? What does this have to do with who I am in Christ? The
doctrine of Christ is the mystery of godliness. Paul is constantly on the
lookout for ways to bring this doctrine home and to call his hearers to faith
in it.

And so Paul's surprising answer to "Shall we continue in sin that grace may
abound?" is, of course not; you've been baptized! And then he preaches their
baptism to them. Of course not, he says; that's not who you are. You're dead
to all that and alive to God in Christ Jesus. You've been united with Christ
in his death to sin on the cross. And if that's true, you've been raised with
him to newness of life as well, to a new life that has nothing to do with sin.
Therefore why sin? What could possibly motivate you? What could possibly
attract you?

This is what we must say to the counselee. We must call him to faith in what
his baptism preaches to him. We must call him to faith in his union with
Christ. He sins because he does not believe himself dead to sin and alive to
God. Therefore he does not act that way, and the biggest mistake we can make
is to believe those actions. To say, well you've sinned; that must mean you're
not dead to sin. It must mean you're not alive to God. No! At that very moment
when he struggles with sin is the moment when he needs us to tell him, it is
not true! Your actions are a lie! Let God be true though every man is a liar.
You are dead to sin. Believe it, brother. And you will walk in these ways.

We must reason as Paul reasons. Do you understand what God said of you when
you were baptized? If you understood it, you would not sin. Let me tell it to
you again that you may believe it and that you may walk in this faith. Only in
this context can the call to obedience make sense.

So Paul makes that call:

  5For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly
we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection, 6knowing this, that our
old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with,
that we should no longer be slaves of sin. 7For he who has died has been freed
from sin. 8Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with
Him, 9knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more.
Death no longer has dominion over Him.

(What does that have to do with me? It's certainly good for Christ…. Keep
listening.)

  10For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that
He lives, He lives to God.

And this, Paul says, is your power of new obedience--to find yourself in
Christ, empowered by his new life. Therefore he says,

  11Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive
to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

There's the call to faith. There's the call to believe the indicative--the
truth of what he has just preached. Reckon yourselves dead to sin. I tell you
that it is true! I swear it to you. I take my oath before God. Is the death of
Christ a sham? Is his resurrection nothing? If not, then you are dead to sin.
Then you are alive to God. Believe it!

  12Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey
it in its lusts.

Don't let sin reign in your mortal body as though it is still your master. I
tell you that it is not.

  13And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin,
but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members
as instruments of righteousness to God. 14For sin shall not have dominion over
you, for you are not under law but under grace.

Do you hear how Paul reasons with the Romans? So we must reason with the
counselee. Sin is not your master. Christ has defeated sin. Christ is alive.
You are alive in him. Therefore sin no more.

Do you see how all this is front-loaded? Before we get to the exhortation to
behavior, we have this long explanation of the doctrine of Christ and what it
means to be united with him. And then the simple exhortation to
behavior-therefore, do not sin.

Followed by what? A series of tips on how to change your behavior so that you
do not sin? A list of do's and don'ts, of things that lead to sin and things
that don't? No. Paul says elsewhere, "the deeds of the flesh are obvious"! And
if you believe these things, you will not do the deeds of the flesh.

Therefore, we set before them their union with Christ, and we call them to
faith in it.

SET BEFORE THEM THEIR HORROR OF UNITING CHRIST WITH SIN

Your counselee has a problem with fornication. It seems to master him and,
like a sheep to the slaughter, he turns and follows after this sin. What do
you do to turn him from it? Do you make for him a long list of do's and
don'ts, places to avoid, things not to read? Do you attempt to change his
behavior on the theory that a change of heart will follow? Worse, do you imply
by your condemning attitude that by this sin he has fallen out of favor with
God? God forbid! This one stands justified in Christ before the court of
Almighty God; shall he stand condemned before the court of you? God forbid!

Observe what Paul does with those notorious fornicators, the Corinthians:

  Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Should I therefore
take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Do
you not know that whoever is united to a prostitute becomes one body with her?
For it is said, "The two shall be one flesh." 17 But anyone united to the Lord
becomes one spirit with him. (1 Cor 6:15-17)

Do you see how Paul reasons with those who fornicate, how he pleads with them?
He sets before them the indicative, the facts: their bodies are members of
Christ. And then he plays on their fears. Yes, you heard right; he plays on
their fears.

Not… NOT… that he plays on their fear of punishment. There is no condemnation
for them in Christ Jesus. Rather, he plays on their fear of uniting Christ
with a prostitute. When you do these things, he says, you are raping Jesus.
You are taking your Beloved and dragging him through the mud. You are
involving him in this most despicable act.

By this Paul seeks to awaken a horror of fornication in the Corinthians. Not
because of the consequences to them-which could not turn them away-but because
of the consequences to Christ. Their beloved. The one who laid down his life
for them. They had not thought through the implications. They didn't remember
who they were, members of the body of Christ. Convince them of that and
fornication will become impossible.

SET BEFORE THEM THE MIND OF CHRIST

Paul writes to the Philippians, knowing that there is division in the church.
Two women of importance, Euodia and Syntyche, have become the heads of
factions and those factions have become more important to them than the unity
of the body of Christ.

What they want in a counselor is someone to tell them who's right and who's
wrong. Which faction is correct? Paul doesn't even address that question. Paul
does not give the Philippians step by step instructions on how to resolve
their differences. Rather, he addresses their pride, and sets before them the
mind of Christ.

  5 Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus,
  6 who, though he was in the form of God,
  did not regard equality with God
  as something to be exploited,
  7 but emptied himself,
  taking the form of a slave,
  being born in human likeness.
  And being found in human form,
  8 he humbled himself
  and became obedient to the point of death--
  even death on a cross.
  9 Therefore God also highly exalted him
  and gave him the name
  that is above every name,
  10 so that at the name of Jesus
  every knee should bend,
  in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
  11 and every tongue should confess
  that Jesus Christ is Lord,
  to the glory of God the Father.

If there is division in the church, then clearly these two sisters don't
understand what their Savior has done. He who was the highest of the high
became the lowest of the low. He who was life submitted to death. He who
deserved all glory submitted to the shame of death on a cross.

And did he lose anything by this reckless abandonment of his own rights? No.
God highly exalted him and glorified him with the glory that he had with the
Father before the world began.

Paul sets this mind of Christ before them, not as a dead example that they
must follow if they can. The example of Christ is vivifying; it is
life-giving. To understand this mind of Christ-to truly understand it-is to
have the power to walk in it. So Paul counts it as of first importance that he
should preach this example into them. That they should hear it and believe it.

And then their pesky little differences will subside. They will know what
steps to take, what hoops to jump through in order to resolve their
differences. Because they will have the mind of Christ toward one another.

Paul does not drone on and on about how important it is to obey whether we
like it or not. He wants them to like obedience. He wants them to love
obedience with the love with which they love Christ. So only setting Christ
before them will provoke the obedience he desires.

SET BEFORE THEM THEIR PARTICIPATION IN THE EXAMPLE OF CHRIST

Paul does this with husbands and wives, telling them that by marriage they
participate in the mystery of Christ and his church.

  Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. 23For the husband
is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of
which he is the Savior. 24Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also
wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands.

  25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her, 26in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the
washing of water by the word, 27so as to present the church to himself in
splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind-yes, so that she
may be holy and without blemish. 28In the same way, husbands should love their
wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

What husband, truly understanding this-that his marriage preaches the mystery
of Christ-would be selfish and domineering? It would break his heart to be so.
For then, by his life, he would be preaching that Christ his Savior is selfish
and domineering.

What good is it to take the husband and give him a laundry list of do's and
don'ts, things that have the appearance of godliness, but deny the power? (For
the power, remember, is the knowledge of Christ.) What good to give him a set
of artificial boundaries-this far you may dominate your wife, but no farther.
Is that how Christ loved the church? This much, at least, you must do for your
wife. Christ gave himself for the church. Let the husband understand that and
do the same. What good to give the husband a set of artificial duties: Buy her
flowers once a month. Set up a date night. Offer to watch the kids every so
often. Away with such nonsense! Find me the place in Scripture where the Lord
deals with his children in this way. Persuade him of the love of Christ for
him and his love for her will know no bounds.

What wife, truly understanding this, would decline to submit to her husband?
Though her husband may be unreasonable or selfish, yet her Lord is never so.
And if Christ calls her to submit to this or that odd command or strange
decision, did he not himself submit to things too terrible to describe on her
behalf? Reason with her heart in this way and she will not ask, "Just how much
of this do I have to put up with?" But she will glory in her submission,
though it may be hard at times, as a submission to Christ.

Then, together, the husband and the wife will preach by their lives the
mystery of Christ and his church. The Scriptures aim at nothing less than
that.

SET BEFORE THEM THEIR IDENTITY IN CHRIST

Your counselee sins because he forgets who he is. He forgets who Christ has
made him to be. Therefore, he must be reminded constantly. Paul slips it in
again and again when he writes to the Ephesians: "But fornication and impurity
of any kind, or greed, must not even be mentioned among you, as is proper
among saints" (Eph 5:3). How horrible it would be if Paul denied the Ephesians
their identity here! What if he said or even implied, "You're not acting like
a saint. You must not be a saint. If you want me to call you one, start acting
like one." Then they would have no motivation to shun fornication or impurity
or greed.

But they are saints. They are holy to God. Holy in Christ. And that is their
motivation-that it is proper for saints, holy to God, holy in Christ, to live
in accordance with that understanding. Paul reminds them of who they are and
makes that the basis of what they do. The imperative only makes sense in light
of the indicative.

Paul goes on, "Be sure of this, that no fornicator or impure person, or one
who is greedy (that is, an idolater), has any inheritance in the kingdom of
Christ and of God" (Eph 5:5). What is Paul saying here? Is he telling the
Ephesians, if you do these things you will lose your inheritance in Christ? Is
he motivating them by the fear that their salvation, purchased by Christ and
sealed by the Spirit, might yet slip through their fingers? God forbid!

His presupposition is that they do have an inheritance in the kingdom of God.
He's told them as much in chapter 1. Then what is his reasoning? He says:

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath
of God comes on those who are disobedient. 7Therefore do not be associated
with them. 8For once you were darkness, but now in the Lord you are light.
Live as children of light. (Eph 5:6-8)

Do you see the beauty of it? Don't do those things! he cries. That's what
people who won't inherit the kingdom do. That's not who you are. Why, by your
actions, would you associate yourself with people who are doomed to hell?
Don't let them deceive you. There's no value in sin; there's no percentage in
disobedience. What fellowship do you have with them? You are headed for the
eternal city, the new Jerusalem. You are light in the Lord. Therefore walk as
children of light. The fact that God condemns impurity, fornication, idolatry,
becomes their motivation not because they fear that God will therefore condemn
them but because God has not condemned them. And therefore why be impure, why
fornicate, why commit idolatry? Why have any fellowship with those whom God
has condemned who have no inheritance with the saints in light?

SET BEFORE THEM THEIR VICTORY IN CHRIST

She stands before you inconsolable. Her life is too hard to bear. Her choices
have not been the wisest or the most foresightful. While they weren't actually
sinful, they certainly could have been better. It is easy to see how she might
have spent her money more carefully, and then she wouldn't be in this
position. It is easy to see how she shouldn't have moved into that apartment
or given up a job she disliked in the hope of finding a better one. It is easy
to see how she should have clarified things with her friend a little sooner
and then her friend would not be angry with her.

Therefore … what?

Say it! Voice that dirty little thought. Admit what the Pharisee inside all of
us thinks. Therefore … she … deserves … it. If she made wise choices, God
would bless her. And we put the counselee back under a covenant of works. Do
what is wise and God will bless you. Do what is foolish and God stands ready
to curse.

We forget that God has already blessed her as much as she can possibly be
blessed in Christ Jesus. He has given her his Son and in him all things. And
if we forget that, how will she remember?

A word here especially to ministers of the word. It is easy to become
sidetracked in our counseling. They come to us with problems at school,
problems with finances, problems at work. So we become school counselors,
money managers, and job consultants. The temptation is fierce, especially when
we see that such consultation might be helpful.

But we have better help to offer than the organization of their earthly
affairs. Are there not ruling elders and deacons and lay people who can speak
to them of such things? Let us resolve to know nothing but what is most
important, Christ and him crucified.

Let us set before them their victory in Christ in spite of the defeats of this
life. Hear how Paul does this:

  What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against
us? 32He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will
he not with him also give us everything else? 33Who will bring any charge
against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34Who is the one who condemn? It
is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of
God, who indeed intercedes for us. 35Who will separate us from the love of
Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness,
or peril, or sword? 36As it is written,

    "For your sake we are being killed all day long;
    we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered."

  37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved
us. 38For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers,
nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39nor height, nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love
of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Set that truth before them and they will be able to bear whatever it is that
Christ calls them to bear.

SET BEFORE THEM THEIR ESCHATOLOGY IN CHRIST

Peter writes to the pilgrims in Asia Minor, to Christians who are outcasts.
Socially they are outcasts. Politically they have no clout. They are slaves of
unbelieving masters, wives of unbelieving husbands, subjects of unbelieving
rulers. In the eyes of the world they have nothing; they are powerless.

Peter writes to them and they wait to hear him say, it will not always be this
way. They wait to hear him say someday you will rise up and gain power.
Someday you will not be social outcasts. Someday you will have political
influence. Someday there will be a golden age for the church when the church
will not suffer with Christ.

They want that counsel from him. But he can't give it because it's not true.
He gives them better. He says, "Set all your hope on the grace that is coming
when Jesus Christ is revealed" (1 Peter 1:13). Don't waste a drop of hope on
things in this life getting better. As surely as Christ suffered and entered
into glory, so surely will you suffer with him and enter into his glory.

You must set before the counselee the coming glory in a way that makes
everything in this world seem of no importance. All sin, all worry, all doubt,
stem from a love of the things of this life which betray you and which pass
away. If we loved only the things of the life to come, we should be content
always; for we have those things already in abundance in Christ.

You must constantly be on the lookout for ways to direct their eyes to that
last day when Christ appears and sorrow and mourning flee away. How tempting
it is to stop short of that! How tempting to say what they think they want to
hear.

The counselee is going through a hard time in life, and what do we say? "Don't
worry. Things will get easier in a year or two." You don't know that. "Don't
worry. I'm sure the doctors will figure out what is wrong." You don't know
that. You don't know anything of what will happen in this life for them,
whether of good or ill. Whether they will live long lives or die tomorrow. You
cannot promise earthly life or earthly health or earthly comfort. You dare not
promise these things.

But this… THIS… you can promise them:

  Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first
earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. 2Then I, John, saw the holy
city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride
adorned for her husband. 3And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying,
"Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and
they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God.
4"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more
death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former
things have passed away." 5Then He who sat on the throne said, "Behold, I make
all things new." And He said to me, "Write, for these words are true and
faithful." 6And He said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the
Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely
to him who thirsts.

Promise that to them! Be as extravagant as you wish. You will not promise them
more than God has promised.

CONCLUSION

I hope I have shown in this something of my conviction that we do not need a
lot of man-made schemes to counsel. The Scriptures teach us how to speak. Let
us speak as they speak-the word of Christ and him crucified, resurrected,
ascended. Let us constantly ask the question, how does the knowledge of Christ
affect this situation? Let us speak as Christ speaks in his word, adding
nothing to it, taking nothing away.

1999 © Bill Baldwin


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