THINGS TO DO AT KMART (or similiar) WHILE YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY TAKE THEIR OWN SWEET TIME 1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens. 5. Put some M&M's on lay-by. 6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people leave me alone." 9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose or scratch yourself. 10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.' 11. While handling knives in the kitchen department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. 13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper "PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 15. Go to the fitting room and yell real loud....."Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!" Pete... (the other one) "No Vatican. No Taliban."