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From: Ken Shmidheiser <kshmidheiser@...>
Date: Sun, 2 Mar 2008 16:38:52 -0500
While we're on the subject....


Euro English

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has  
been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European  
communities, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that  
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a  
five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro English (Euro  
for short).

In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'.  
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the  
hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k'. Not only will this klear up  
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the  
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like  
'fotograf' twenty persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be  
expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are  
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters,  
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil  
agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is  
disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl will be  
reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'.

During ze fifz year, ze uneseary 'o' kan be dropd from vords  
kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer  
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil have a reli  
sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun  
vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.