[futurebasic] X-FB Christmas Programer

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Date: Fri, 12 Dec 1997 08:29:19 EST
 Twas the Night Before Implementation
 'Twas the night before implementation
 and all through the house,
 not a program was working,
 not even a browse.
 The programmers hung by their chips in despair
 with hopes that a miracle soon would be there.
 And the users were nestled all snug in their beds,
 while visions of inquiries danced in their heads.
 Then out in the hall there arose such a clatter!
 I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter!
 And what to my wondering eyes would appear,
 but a Super-Programmer (with two six-packs of beer)!
 His resume' glowed with experience so rare,
 he turned out great code with a bit-pushers flare.
 More rapid than eagles, his programs they came
 and he whistled and shouted and called them by name;
 On update! On add! On inquiry! On delete!
 On batch jobs! On closing! On functions complete!
 His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean
 from weekends and nights in front of the screen!
 A wink from his eye and a twist of his head
 soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
 He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
 turning specs into code, then turned with a jerk,
 and laying his finger upon the 'enter' key
 the system came up and worked perfectly!
 The updates updated; the deletes, they deleted;
 the inquiries inquired; and closing completed.
 He tested each whistle, and tested each bell
 with nary a bend, and all had gone well.
 The system was finished, the tests were concluded;
 the clients' last changes were even included.
 And the client exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt:
 "It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"
----------------------------------------Author Unknown